These are a few of my favorite things...

...and all in one clip...

• Barack Obama
• John Stewart

and yes the...

• SHAM-WOW!

In case the video goes away, here's a transcript:

Jon Stewart: My guest tonight is a United States Senator representing the great state of Illinois. He is also the Democratic nominee for president. Joining us now via satellite from Sunrise, Florida, please welcome back to the program, Senator Barack Obama. Senator, nice to see you

Barack Obama: Hi, Jon.

Jon Stewart: How are you, sir? Hold on one second. I'm sorry. He's not actually here. He's on the satellite. Our audience very excited, sir. Clearly our show is not a swing show, if you will. Thank you so much for taking the time. How are you holding up? How are things going?

Barack Obama: You know, I'm doing great. We are now counting down every single day. And, you know, the crowds are terrific. And you know, I think we've got a good shot at this thing.

Jon Stewart: Where are you right now?

Barack Obama: I am in Fort Lauderdale, and we are going to have a rally tonight, and actually, we're going to go to Orlando. We have an 11:00 p.m. rally with William Jefferson Clinton which I think is going to be terrific.

Jon Stewart: William Jefferson Clinton and you in Florida. Now, I know Florida, many of my people go there to retire. You might want to hold the rally early. They don't like to miss their shows at night or the early-bird special at the diner. So, whatever you can....

Barack Obama: No comment on that, Jon. I'm trying to win Florida.

Jon Stewart: What a wise man. I thought that at this point, you would be doing sort of a four corners offense, playing kind of a delay game, but you really are going at it. Tell me about this half-hour special that aired earlier tonight. What is this?

Barack Obama: Well, this is the Obama infomercial. I'll tell you a quick story. We're buying time on a lot of the stations. I was describing this to Michelle and my daughters, and Malia who is ten, she said "Hold up a second. Are you saying my programs are going to be interrupted?" I said no we didn't buy on Disney. She was relieved, but for everybody else who wants to watch, they're going to have a chance to take a look at not just sort of a pitch for me but really what we try to do is tell a story about what's happening in families all across America. We've got four families that we feature. All of them have great hopes, but all of them are struggling too. We want to talk about what the next four years would mean for them.

Jon Stewart: Will it annoy us? Or will we like it? Afterwards, will we think, did he just sell me a Shamwow? What the hell just happened? Or will we feel comforted and, you know....

Barack Obama: I hope what people will come away with, I hope they'll say to themselves you know what? This election is really important. These families that have been featured remind me of either myself or people I that know. I hope they'll have a better sense of exactly what I want to do as president. That's all you can do. At this stage, everything that needs to be said has probably been heard by a lot of voters. What you want to do is remind them one more time. Here's what I'm going to do, not oversell, let people make up their minds. That's how democracy works.

Jon Stewart: So much of this has been about fear of you. An elitist, a celebrity, a Muslim terrorist sympathizer. A Socialist, a Marxist, a witch. That's right. They've been calling you a witch. They're saying if you do win, is that a mandate for Socialism in this country? Has any of this fear stuff, do you think it's stuff with the electorate? Are you finding that on the trail?

Barack Obama: You know, it just hasn't. I mean, I think, there's a certain segment of hard-core Sean Hannity fans that probably wouldn't want to go have a beer with me, there's no doubt about that. But I think for the average voter, they're saying to themselves, what's all this stuff about? I'm trying to figure out whether I can hang on to my house or who is going to help me get a job or what about my health care, my premiums have doubled over the last couple of years. So I don't think that they're paying too much attention to this stuff. And the whole Socialism argument that doesn't fly too well. The evidence of this seems pretty thin. I said today that I think they found proof that when I was in kindergarten I shared some toys with my friends. That's clearly a sign that of subversive activity now, I can tell you, Jon, that being on your program I think is further evidence of these tendencies.

Jon Stewart: (laughing). The polls have you up but then they keep talking about this Bradley Effect this idea that white voters when they go to the polls, they'll tell pollsters they're going to vote for an African-American but they won't actually do it.

Barack Obama: Yeah, they've been saying that for a while. We're still here. I don't know. I don't think white voters have gotten this memo about the Bradley Effect.

Jon Stewart: are you concerned in some respects, you know, and I don't even know how to bring this up. Obviously your mother is from Kansas. She's a white woman. Your father, African. Are you concerned that you may go into the voting booth and....

Barack Obama: I won't know what to do.

Jon Stewart: Your white half will all of a sudden decide, "I can't do this."

Barack Obama: That's a problem.

Jon Stewart: What is it?

Barack Obama: I said it's a problem.

Jon Stewart: (laughing).

Barack Obama: I've been going through therapy to make sure that I vote properly on the 4th.

Jon Stewart: I think that's wise. Are you, you know, you and Senator McCain have run such a tough race. Is it possible, do you think, in this day and age for you two to be, to like each other afterwards, to be collegial? Do you feel like you would offer him a spot in your administration or he would do the same for you? I mean, what's that relationship like now?

Barack Obama: Well, look, there's no doubt that it gets tense in the middle of a campaign. But I've said it before. I admire Senator McCain's service to our country. He is a genuine war hero. And, you know, I hope that after the election, however way it turns out, that we can work together because some of the problems we're talking about are ones that we're not going to be able to solve with one party just trying to dictate a solution to the problems. You look at something like global warming, that's really an "all hands on deck" kind of situation. If we don't get everybody on board, conservative hawks who are worried about us buying oil from the Middle East, tree huggers and environmentalists who are worried about, you know, the polar bears, bringing all those folks together and saying everybody's got a legitimate point of view. Let's figure out how to solve the problem. That's the kind of attitude we're going to need going forward.

Jon Stewart: With the kind of issues that face the country now.... (applause) oh, they're applauding. Very interesting. They're applauding a spirit of cooperation, which I actually find that to be a rather angry bitter group in this audience.

Barack Obama: Not very funny cooperation.

Jon Stewart: No, that's nice. Is there a sense that you have, you know, two years ago when you began this journey, the country was not necessarily in the shape it's in now. Is there a sense that you don't want this? (Obama laughs) you may look at the country and think, you know, when I thought I was going to get this it was a relatively new car. Now look at it!

Barack Obama: You know, I actually think this is the time to want to be president. If you went into public service thinking that you could have an impact, now is the time where you could have an impact. We tend to be a pretty conservative country. I don't mean conservative politically per se, but conservative in the sense that, you know, things are kind of going along pretty well and we don't want to mess with it too much. And then every once in a while you have these big challenges and big problems. It gives an opportunity for us to really move in a new direction. I think this is one of those moments on things like energy and health care and the economy and education where I think people recognize what we've been doing isn't working.

Jon Stewart: A serious moment.

Barack Obama: I think people will be more open to change.

Jon Stewart: Sir, we definitely appreciate you being on the program tonight. We know what a long haul it's been. You've certainly run a remarkable and historic race. I have great admiration for both you and Senator McCain, and I wish you well. Thank you so much for joining us.

Barack Obama: Great to be with you, Jon. Thank you.

Jon Stewart: Senator Barack Obama. We'll be right back.

All The Mavericks in the House

Yeah, I had to put my hands up because Palin did well on SNL. Both in the Opening and in the Weekend Update. (She even threw in a good natured ''You Betcha.'')

Check it out yourself...

Here's the opening...

JASON SUDEIKIS -- "Good evening, I'm Tim Lydecker Sarah Palin's spokesman and we're very excited to be holding the Governor's first official press conference. Now tonight, nothing is off-limits while at the same time, I urge you guys to 'be cool.' Seriously guys just be cool. And one last thing: no recording devices and don't write anything down."

(Gathered "reporters" react)

SUDEIKIS -- "Worth a shot. Can't blame me for trying. Without further ado, I present Governor Sarah Palin."

(TINA FEY enters as GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN)

FEY AS GOV. PALIN –-- "First off, I just want to say how excited I am to be in front of both the liberal elite media as well as the liberal regular media. I am lookin' forward to a portion of your questions, so let's get started. Yes, you?"

FRED ARMISEN (as reporter) -- "What were your thoughts on Senator McCain's debate performance Wednesday?"

FEY AS GOV. PALIN -- You know, I just thought he was great. Because the American people are angry. And John McCain is angry too. And you can tell he's angry by the way he sighs and grits his teeth and he's always goin' like (MAKES FACE AND GROWLING NOISE). And that Barack Obama? Well if he's angry, I certainly can't tell. His voice is smooth and when he's talkin' it's like an angel whispering in your ear. He makes John McCain sound like a garbage truck unloading trash at a landfill. So to answer your question, yes, I think John McCain did great. You guy?

WILL FORTE (as reporter) -- "At a rally in North Carolina this week you said that you like to visit the quote pro-America parts of the country. Are there parts of the country that you consider un-American?

FEY AS GOV. PALIN -- Y'know , that was just my lame attempt at a joke. But um, yes – New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Delaware and California (SHE GIVES A THUMBS DOWN). But then also too you have states like Ohio and Pennsylvania and Florida which could be real real anti-American or real real pro-American. It's up to them. (SHE winks) And now I'd like to entertain everybody with some fancy pageant walkin.'

(CUT TO: "SNL" Executive Producer LORNE MICHAELS and the real GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN standing next to a monitor watching the scene)

MICHAELS -- "I really wish that that had been you."

GOV. PALIN -- "Well, Lorne, you know, I just didn't think it was a realistic depiction of how one of my press conferences woulda gone."

MICHAELS -- "Yes, but it's obviously it's a heightened reality."

GOV. PALIN -- "Why couldn't we do the '30 Rock' sketch I wrote?"

MICHAELS -- "Honestly, not enough people know that show."

(MARK WAHLBERG ENTERS)

WAHLBERG -- "Hey, Lorne?"

MICHAELS -- "Mark!"

WAHLBERG -- I'm looking for Andy Samberg. Where is he?"

MICHAELS -- "Mark, that was all in good fun."

WAHLBERG -- "Are you gonna make me bust your head open too? Because I will. Where is he?"

MICHAELS -- "Third dressing room on the left."

MW -- Thank you

(WAHLBERG storms off)

MICHAELS -- He didn't like the impression we did of him on the show.

GOV. PALIN -- "Tell me about it."

(ALEC BALDWIN enters)

BALDWIN -- "Hey Lorne. Hey, Tina. Lorne, I need to talk to you. You can't let Tina go out there with that woman. She goes against everything we stand for. I mean, good Lord, Lorne, they call her…what's that name they call her? Cari … Cari -- what do they call her again, Tina?"

GOV. PALIN -- "That'd be Caribou Barbie."

BALDWIN -- "Caribou Barbie. Thank you, Tina. I mean this is the most important election in our nation's history. And you want her, our Tina, to go out there and stand there with that horrible woman. What do you have to say for yourself?"

MICHAELS -- "Alec, this is Governor Palin."

GOV. PALIN -- "Hi there."

BALDWIN -- "I see. Forgive me, but I feel I must say this -- you are way hotter in person."

GOV. PALIN -- "Why thank you."

BALDWIN -- "I mean, seriously. I can't believe they let her play you."

GOV. PALIN -- "Thank you, and I must say that your brother Stephen is my favorite Baldwin brother."

BALDWIN -- "You are a delight. Now come, let me take you for a tour of the studio. You know, I've hosted the show … how many times, Lorne?"

LM -- 175 times.

(THEY walk away, the scene cuts back to the press conference)

FEY AS GOV. PALIN -- "To answer your question – y'know I don't worry about the polls. Polls are just a fancy way of systematically predicting what's gonna happen. The only pole I care about is the North Pole and that is melting…it's not great.

(BALDWIN walks on stage and whispers in FEY's ear)

FEY AS SELF -- "What? The real one? Byeee!"

(FEY walks off stage, passing PALIN as she exits)

GOV. PALIN -- "Thank you. Now I'm not gonna take any of your questions but I do want to take this opportunity to say Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!!!"

Here's Weekend Update...

MEYERS – "And now, here to clear up some misconceptions about her campaign, Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin."

GOV. SARAH PALIN – "Thank you Seth, Amy. And thank you for the chance to come out here. But I've been thinking it over and I'm not going to do the piece we rehearsed."

MEYERS – "But you were so good at it."

GOV. PALIN – "I know. It was really fun. But my gut is telling me this is a bad idea for the campaign."

MEYERS – "Are you sure?"

GOV. PALIN – "Yes, after a lot of thought. I think it might just cross the line."

MEYERS – "Ok, well…in that case, Amy, do you want to do Governor Palin's part instead, Amy?"

POEHLER – "I guess I could give it a try…"

MEYERS – "Do you remember it?"

POEHLER – "I kinda remember it … (IN HARDCORE RAP DEMEANOR) 1. 2. 3…"

(A Beat kicks in)

"MY NAME IS SARAH PALIN, YOU ALL KNOW ME,
VICE-PREZZY NOMINEE OF THE GOP,
GONNA NEED YOUR VOTE IN THE NEXT ELECTION,
CAN I GET A WHAT-WHAT FROM THE SENIOR SECTION,
MCCAIN GOT EXPERIENCE,
MCCAIN GOT STYLE,
BUT DON'T LET HIM FREAK YOU OUT,
WHEN HE TRIES TO SMILE,
CUZ THAT SMILE BE CREEPY,
BUT WHEN I'M V.P.,
ALL THE LEADERS IN THE WORLD GONNA FINALLY MEET ME,

(FRED ARMISEN & ANDY SAMBERG enter as ESKIMOS)

POEHLER -- (contd)HOW'S IT GO ESKIMOS?TELL TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW ESKIMOS!HOW YA FEEL ESKIMOS?TELL TELL ME WHAT YOU FEEL ESKIMOS!

SAMBERG/ARMISEN -- ESKIMOS!ESKIMOS!ICE COLD!SUPER COLD!

POEHLER -- "I'M JEREMIAH WRIGHT CUZ TONIGHT IM THE PREACHER,
I GOT A BOOKISH LOOK AND YOU'RE ALL HOT FOR TEACHER,

(The camera cuts away to Meyers and Gov. Palin enjoying themselves)
(JASON SUDEIKIS enters as TODD PALIN and stands next to POEHLER)

TODD LOOKING FINE ON HIS SNOW MACHINE,
SO HOT FOR EACH OTHER, NEED A GO-BETWEEN,
IN WASILLA, WE JUST CHILL BABY CHILLA
BUT WHEN I SEE OIL, IT'S..."

ALL -- "DRILL BABY DRILLA!"

POEHLER – "MY COUNTRY TIS OF THEE,"
FROM MY PORCH I CAN SEE,
RUSSIA AND SUCH."

ALL THE MAVERICKS IN THE HOUSE, PUT YOUR HANDS UP,
ALL THE MAVERICKS IN THE HOUSE, PUT YOUR HANDS UP,
ALL THE PLUMBERS IN THE HOUSE, PULL YOUR PANTS UP,
ALL THE PLUMBERS IN THE HOUSE, PULL YOUR PANTS UP,

WHEN I SAY OBAMA,
YOU SAY AYERS,
OBAMA!

SAMBERG/ARMISEN – "AYERS!"

POEHLER – "OBAMA!"

SAMBERG/ARMISEN – "AYERS!"

POEHLER – "I BUILT ME A BRIDGE AND IT AINT GOING NOWHERE!
OOOOOHHHHHHHH.
MCCAIN/PALIN
GONNA PUT THE NAIL IN
THE COFFIN… OF THE MEDIA ELITE"

SAMBERG/ARMISEN – "SHE LIKES RED MEAT!"

(A MOOSE ENTERS)

POEHLER – "SHOOT A MUTHA HUMPIN MOOSE EIGHT DAYS OF THE WEEK,
NOW YOURE DEAD
NOW YOURE DEAD
CUZ I'M AN AMINAL, AND I'M BIGGER THAN YOU
HOLDIN' A SHOTGUN, WORKIN' THE PUMP
Everybody party, we GOING ON A HUNT
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
YO I'M PALIN I'M OUT!

(AMY, SUDEIKIS AND SAMBERG/ARMISEN EXIT AS SNOW FALLS)

MEYERS – "I think you made the right decision not to do that."

GOV. PALIN – "You betcha."

And while we're on the subject of good natured people, here's Mark Walberg's bit on SNL...what's that all about? Say hi to your mother from me. And your stepmother.

Schwing Vote

So Joe the Plumber came up in Thursday's Daily Show...


And of course of all things for Parker to pick, it's this...


I wonder what his daycare teachers are thinking as I'm sure he's performing the tune at school. At least Parker's rendition is pretty innocent sounding.

To All You Joe Six-Packs

...Maverick.



Dude. I think I tunned out before the talent portion of the debate. That's a shame. :o)

Interesting. People thought Tina Fey would have a hard time spoofing Palin this week. Whelp...this sketch's success looked pretty effortless. Great Job SNL!

In case the video goes away, there the transcript...

QUEEN LATIFAH AS GWEN IFILL: "Good evening, I'm Gwen Ifill and welcome to Washington University in St. Louis Missouri to the first and only 2008 Vice Presidential Debate between the Republican nominee, Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska, and the Democratic nominee, Joe Biden of Delaware. Let's welcome the candidates."

TINA FEY AS GOV. SARAH PALIN: "Can I call you, 'Joe?'"

JASON SUDEIKIS AS SEN. JOE BIDEN: "Of course."

FEY AS PALIN: "OK, 'cause I practiced a couple of zingers where I call you Joe."

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "Now tonight's discussion will cover a wide range of topics including domestic and foreign policy matters. Each candidate will have 90 seconds to respond to a direct question and then an additional two minutes for rebuttal and follow-up. As moderator, I will not ask any follow-up questions beyond 'do you agree?' or 'your response?' so as not to appear biased for Barack Obama in light of my new book (holding up book) 'The Breakthrough: Politics of Race in the Age of Obama,' coming out on inauguration day and available for pre-order on Amazon.com. And finally, we would like to remind our audience that due to the historically low expectations for Governor Palin, were she simply to do an adequate job tonight, and at no point cry, faint, run out of the building or vomit you should consider the debate a tie. Alright, let's begin. Senator Biden, how, as Vice President would you work to shrink the gap of polarization that has sprung up in Washington?

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: "Well, I would do what I have done my whole career, whether it's been dealing with violence against women or putting 100,000 police officers in the streets. I would reach across the aisle. Like I've done with so many members of the other party. Members like John McCain. Because look, I love John McCain. He is one of my dearest friends. But at the same time, he's also dangerously unbalanced. I mean, let's be frank, John McCain -- and again, this is a man I would take a bullet for -- is bad at his job and mentally unstable. As my mother would say, 'God love him, but he's a raging maniac...' and a dear, dear friend."

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "Governor Palin. How will your administration deal with the current financial crisis?"

FEY AS PALIN: "Well first of all, let me say how nice it is to meet Joe Biden. And may I say, up close your hair plugs don't look nearly as bad as everyone says. You know, John McCain and I, we're a couple of mavericks. And gosh darnit, we're gonna take that maverick energy right to Washington and we're gonna use it to fix this financial crisis and everything else that's plaguin' this great country of ours."

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "How will you solve the financial crisis by being a maverick?"

FEY AS PALIN: "You know we're gonna take every aspect of the crisis and look at it and then we're gonna ask ourselves, 'what would a maverick do in this situation?' And then, you know, we'll do that." (SHE winks.)

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "Senator Biden, how would your administration address the current financial crisis?"

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: "Barack Obama and I understand that we need to regulate Wall Street. John McCain voted against Wall Street regulation 41 times. Let me repeat that. 41 times! And again, this is a man I love. If I had to spend the rest of my life on a desert island with only one other person it would be John McCain -- no doubt about it. I mean, you should see the way my face lights up when he walks into a room. But the fact is, John McCain has voted with George Bush ninety percent of the time, let me say that again: time."

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "Governor Palin, would you like to respond to Senator Biden's comments about Senator McCain?"

FEY AS PALIN: "No thank you, but I would like to talk about bein' an outsider. You see while Senator Biden has been in Washington all these years I've been with regular people. Hockey moms and Joe Six-packs I'd also like to give a shout out to the third graders of Gladys Woods Elementary who were so helpful to me in my debate prep. Also too, you see, I think a bit differently from an insider. I don't think it's patriotic to pay more taxes. I don't think it's patriotic to criticize these wars we got goin' on. I do think it's patriotic to tell the government, 'Hey get outta my way! Stop tryin' to impose on my right to shoot wolves from a helicopter.' But a Washington insider like Joe Biden probably disagrees."

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: "You know I get a little tired of being told I'm an insider. I come from Scranton, Pennsylvania and that's as hardscrabble a place as you're gonna find. I'll show you around some time and you'll see. It's a hellhole. An absolute jerkwater of a town. You couldn't stand to spend a weekend there. It is just an awful, awful sad place filled with sad desperate people with no ambition. Nobody, and I mean nobody, but me has ever come out of that place. It's a genetic cesspool. So don't be telling me that I'm part of the Washington elite because I come from the absolute worst place on Earth: Scranton, Pennsylvania. And Wilmington, Delaware is not much better."

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "Senator Palin. Address your position on global warming and whether you think it's man-made or not."

FEY AS PALIN: "Gwen, we don't know if this climate change hoozie-what's-it is man-made or if it's just a natural part of the 'End of Days.' But I'm not gonna talk about that I would like to talk about taxes, because with Barack Obama, you're gonna be paying higher taxes. But not with me and my fellow maverick. We are not afraid to get maverick-y in there and ruffle feathers and not got to allow that. And also, too, the great Ronald Reagan."

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "The next question is for you, Senator Biden. Do you support, as they do in Alaska, granting same-sex benefits to couples?"

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: "I do. In an Obama-Biden administration same-sex couples would be guaranteed the same property rights, rights to insurance, and rights of ownership as heterosexual couples. There will be no distinction. I repeat, no distinction."

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "So to clarify, do you support gay marriage, Senator Biden?"

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: "Absolutely not. But I do think they should be allowed to visit one another in the hospital and in a lot of ways, that's just as good, if not better."

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "Governor Palin. Would you extend same-sex rights to the entire country?"

FEY AS PALIN: "You know I would be afraid of where that would lead. I believe marriage is meant to be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers. But don't think I don't tolerate gay people. Because I do. I tolerate them with all my heart. And I know quite a few too. Not personally. But I know of them. I've seen 'Ellen.' Oh, and there was this one girl on my college basketball team. She wasn't officially 'a gay,' but, you know, we were pretty sure."

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "Governor Palin, what is your position on Healthcare regulation?"

FEY AS PALIN: "I'm gonna ignore that question and instead talk about Israel. I love Israel so much. Bless its heart. There's a special place for Israel in heaven. And I know some people are going to say I'm only saying that to pander to Florida voters, but from a very young age, my two greatest loves were always Jews and Cuban food."

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "I would now like to give each of you a chance to make a closing statement."

FEY AS PALIN: : (holding flute): Oh, are we not doing the talent portion?

(FEY AS PALIN plays flute, winks)
(LATIFAH AS IFILL stares)

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "Senator Biden, your closing statement?"

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: "My goal tonight was a simple one. To come up here and at no point seem like a condescending, egomaniacal bully, and I'm gonna be honest, I think I nailed it. Sure there were moments when I wanted to say, 'Hey, this lady is a dummy!' But I didn't. Because Joe Biden is better than that. I repeat Joe Biden is better than that (pointing at FEY/PALIN). So to all of the pundits who said I would seem cocky or arrogant. You dopes got schooled Biden-style."

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "Governor Palin?"

FEY AS PALIN: "I liked being here tonight answering these tough questions without the filter of the mainstream gotcha media with their 'follow-up questions,' 'fact-checking' or 'incessant need to figure out what your words mean and why ya put them in that order.' I'm happy to be speaking directly to the American people to let them know if you want an outsider who doesn't like politics as usual or pronouncin' the "g" and the end of words she's sayin' I think you know who to vote for. Oh, and for those Joe Six-packs out there playing a drinking game at home -- Maverick."

LATIFAH AS IFILL: "Well, this concludes tonight's debate. The book drops November 4, and Live From New York...It's Saturday Night!

Don't Dis Dave

Another in a long list of bad decisions. Like the Palin choice, McCain just can't shake the call he made to skip out on David Letterman.

Part 1 of Letterman's interview last night with Brian Williams:


This was on top of the evening's Top 10 list:

THINGS OVERHEARD AT SARAH PALIN'S DEBATE CAMP

10. "Let's practice your bewildered silence."

9. "Can you try saying 'yes' instead of 'you betcha'?"

8. "Hey, I can see Mexico from here!"

7. "Maybe we'll get lucky and there won't be any questions about Iraq, taxes or healthcare."

6. "We're screwed!"

5. "Can I just use that lipstick-pit bull thing again?"

4. "We have to wrap it up for the day -- McCain eats dinner at 4:30."

3. "Can we get Congress to bail us out of this debate?"

2. "John Edwards wants to know if you'd like some private tutoring in his van."

1. "Any way we can just get Tina Fey to do it?"

For those of you who have been under a rock. This is what started it all.



You go, Dave!

Now Emmy Winning...

You've gotta love it that Sarah Silverman won an Emmy for this. I know that some people like Jimmy Kimmel's response better, but I have to agree with the Emmy's people...the original is far better.

Palin and Clinton on SNL

Brilliant! Looks like Tina Fey now has a night job. "I can see Russia from my house!"

You know what? I also hate it when people Photoshop my head onto sexy bikini pictures, too!

In case the clip goes away, here's a transcript...

FEY AS PALIN: "Good evening, my fellow Americans. I was so excited when I was told Senator Clinton and I would be addressing you tonight."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "And I was told I would be addressing you alone."

FEY AS PALIN: "Now I know it must be a little bit strange for all of you to see the two of us together. What with me being John McCain's running mate."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "And me being a fervent supporter of Senator Barack Obama -- as evidenced by this button."

FEY AS PALIN: "But tonight we are crossing party lines to address the now very ugly role that sexism is playing in the campaign."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "An issue which I am frankly surprised to hear people suddenly care about."

FEY AS PALIN: "You know, Hillary and I don't agree on everything..."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: (OVERLAPPING) "Anything. I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy."

FEY AS PALIN: "And I can see Russia from my house."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "I believe global warming is caused by man."

FEY AS PALIN: "And I believe it's just God hugging us closer."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "I don't agree with the Bush Doctrine."

FEY AS PALIN: "I don't know what that is."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "But Sarah, one thing we can agree on is that sexism can never be allowed to permeate an American election."

FEY AS PALIN: "So please, stop photoshopping my head on sexy bikini pictures."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "And stop saying I have cankles."

FEY AS PALIN: "Don't refer to me as a 'MILF.'"

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "And don't refer to me as a 'FLURJ.' I Googled what it stands for and I do not like it."

FEY AS PALIN: "So we ask reporters and commentators, stop using words that diminish us, like 'pretty,' 'attractive,' 'beautiful.'"

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "'Harpy,' 'shrew' and 'boner shrinker.'"

FEY AS PALIN: "While our politics may differ, my friend and I are both very tough ladies. You know it reminds me of a joke we tell in Alaska..."What's the difference...

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Lipstick."

FEY AS PALIN: "...between a hockey mom..."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Lipstick."

FEY AS PALIN: "...and a pitbull?"

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Lipstick."

FEY AS PALIN(AFTER A BEAT): "Lipstick. Just look at how far we've come. Hillary Clinton, who came so close to the White House. And me, Sarah Palin, who is even closer. Can you believe it, Hillary?"

POEHLER AS CLINTON: (AFTER A PAUSE)"I can not."

FEY AS PALIN: "It's truly amazing and I think women everywhere can agree, that no matter your politics, it's time for a woman to make it to the White House."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "No. Mine! It's supposed to be mine! I need to say something. I didn't want a woman to be President. I wanted to be President and I just happen to be a woman. And I don't want to hear you compare your road to the White House to my road to the White House. I scratched and clawed through mud and barbed wire and you just glided in on a dog sled wearing your pageant sash and your Tina Fey glasses."

FEY AS PALIN:
"What an amazing time we live in. To think that just two years ago, I was a small town mayor of Alaska's crystal meth capitol. And now I am just one heartbeat away from being President of the United States. It just goes to show that anyone can be President."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Anyone."

FEY AS PALIN: "All you have to do is want it."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: (LAUGHS) "Yeah, you know, Sarah, looking back, if I could change one thing, I should have wanted it more." (RIPS OFF PIECE OF PODIUM)

FEY AS PALIN: "So in the next six weeks, I invite the media to be vigilant for sexist behavior."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Although it is never sexist to question female politicians credentials. Please ask this one about dinosaurs. So I invite the media to grow a pair. And if you can't, I will lend you mine."

FEY AS PALIN: And as we say in Alaska...

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "We say it everywhere..."

FEY/POEHLER: "Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!!!

Where does your gasoline dollar go?Where does your gasoline dollar go?

Remember when you thought $1.50 for a gallon of gas was expensive?

In case you didn't catch this on the Colbert Report last week...

''Nation, I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but gas is getting kind of pricey. It’s getting to the point where I can’t burn anyone in effigy anymore.

Things are so bad, people have been driven to the point of madness, believing that they are the President and can pass laws abolishing gas taxes.

And consumers, folks, are so angry at the gas companies that, for weeks now, the People of America’s Oil and Natural Gas Industry have been forced to run full page ads in newspapers all over the country.

Here’s one I saw today in today’s The USA Today. It asks, ''Where does your gasoline dollar go?'' I actually thought that was a trick question because you cannot actually buy gas for a dollar.

That is right nation. Oil is a zero profit business! I mean, they must have had a bake sale to pay for this ad. Yet, somehow, in 2007, Exxon Mobil made $1,300 a second. Thirteen hundred - yes, that’s a lot of money, but it is an unlucky number of hundreds.

That means that, even though 100% of the gasoline prices are canceled out by costs, these companies are somehow able to wring mind bending revenue out of the their not-for-profit venture. I think that’s pretty impressive. So, the next time you get a request from the Red Cross or The Humane Society, you send them 1 dollar. It is up to them to get 40.6 Billion out of it.''

Actually, in my opinion, the profit comes from the remaining $2.95, once that initial dollar is spent.

Black is the new President

Here's Tracy Morgan's AWESOME bit from last night's SNL in response to Tina Fey's pro-Hillary for President rant -- bitches ''got stuff done'' and that ''bitch was the new black.''



In case the video goes away, here's a transcript...

Tracy Morgan: ''Why is it that every time a black man in this country gets too good at something, there's always someone who comes around and reminds us that he's black? First Tiger. Then Donovan McNabb. Then me? Now Barack.

I have a theory about that. It's a little complicated, but basically it goes like this:

We are a racist country. The end.

It's not the people in this room, but if we're not a racist country, the how did Hillary convince everybody in Texas and Ohio that Barack didn't know how to answer the phone at three in the morning?

Let me tell you something. Barack knows how to answer that phone. He's not going to answer it like, "Hello? I'm scared. What's going on?"

He's going to answer it like I would when I get a phone call at three in the morning. "Yeah? Who's this? This better be good, or I'm going to come down there and put somebody in a wheelchair."

Some things just never change Seth.

People are saying that he's not a fighter. Let me tell you something. He's a gangster. He's from Chicago.

Barack's not just winning because he's a a black man. If that was the case, I would be winning! And I'm WAY blacker than him! I used to smoke Newports and drink Old English! I grew up on government cheese! I prefer it!

Now there's all this this stuff and all this talk about the pastor. Barack's gotta stay away from the pastor, because he's TOO black.

But just because he knows the dude, it doesn't mean he's going to think like him. Look, I have a friend who goes to strip clubs. It doesn't mean I'm going to go to the strip clubs.''


Seth Meyers: ''But you DO go to strip clubs.''


Tracy Morgan: ''Yeah, but I go for the girls, not because my friend is going, I have integrity!

Barack is qualified. Personally, I want to know what qualifies Hillary Clinton to be the next President. Is it because she was married to the President? If that were the case, then Robin Givins would be the heavyweight champion of the world. If Hillary's last name wasn't Clinton, she'd be some crazy white lady, with too much money and not enough lovin'. That's where I come in.

I know women like that, and you do NOT want them on the phone at three in the morning!

In conclusion...

Three weeks ago, my girl Tina Fey, she came on the show and she declared that bitch is new black. And you know I love you Tina. You know you're my girl. But I have something to say...

Bitch may be the new black, but Black is the new President, bitch.''

Piñata Man

I saw this today and had to share it with you just in case you Tivo'd past it. Absolutely hilarious! I'm surprised they didn't air this closer to Cinco de Mayo. Then again, it so good, why hold it back.

That's Kooky

Here's Parker's latest obsession that's driving me crazy...but in a good way, I guess.

Every morning now, I lure Parker out of bed by letting him watch the episode of Wow Wow Wubbzy that I have tivo'd. This allows me to almost effortlessly change and dress him as he's mesmerized by the television. Of course, since I currently only have one episode recorded, that also means I've started my day off with this video every single morning for the last week.

I guess it's time for me to record a new epiosde of Wow Wow Wubbzy.

That's Kooky!

SNL - Peyton Manning

Okay, when I saw that an athlete was hosting I thought this episode was going to blow. Boy, was I wrong! It was absolutely hilarious and Manning did a better job than some of the real actors that host the show. Maybe he was more open to having someone poke fun at him. Maybe he was more willing to look ridiculous. Maybe he just lucked out with more inspired writing. Whatever it was, it worked. I don't follow sports (I've heard of the guy's name before but that's about it.) but I think he came across very well.

Body Fusion

Take it to the limit! I just had to post this because I know it'll make Geoffrey laugh out loud. :o)

I guess I should write about trying to lose the baby fat. Two years after Parker's birth and I'm still 10lb over what I weighed before I got pregnant, which was 10lb over what I preferred to weigh. Hey, I spend all day typing at a computer. With deadlines and other obligations, it's hard to find the time (or at least remember) to get off my butt and walk around. That became blatantly clear when I bought a pedometer.

It all started when we were in Tahoe and I saw this Frontline epside on losing weight called "Diet Wars". It was surprisingly pretty interesting and boiled it down to this...no matter the diet, if you want to lose weight you need to limit your calories and exercise. DUH! Simple. And yet people spend millions of dollars to do just that. You'd think if you ate less you'd spend less and more.

And exercise...all we need to do is, yes, get off our butts and walk. Basicly, we need to count our steps. People who have lost weight (and have kept it off) take at least 10,000 steps a day. The average person takes 4,000 steps. Me...and this is where the pedometer comes into play...less than a 1,000. EEK! I'm a slug!

So my inital goal is to just match the couch potato 2,000. That's tougher than it sounds but walking to my food (aka, lunch) helps. Another thing is relying less on IM to ask questions and take a walk. I guess I'll eventually have to use the gym membership (yes, part of the millions of dollars spent).

I guess this is where I layout goals for myself. Hmmmm... Well, how about this. Let's be generous and say I'm at 1000 steps a day right now. I aim at upping those numbers by 500 steps a month and by July I should be on par with the average 4,000. I pledge to check in with you guys again in a couple of months to let you know how I'm doing. In the meantime, you should trying counting your steps. The results could be a surprising wakeup call.

Well, in the meantime, I just happen to have a couple of pencils here so I guess I can throw in a quick low impact workout.

WOO!

Always funny...

Kicks in the crotch (to other people, of course) and men in drag. Let that be a lesson to you, kid. (Geez! I need to dust my TV.)